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Rather, I find it so far outside of the bounds of Magic, both thematically and creatively, that I cant stand that it exists

What's the Mana Value of a Manifested Face-Down Card

Shepherd brought out "Battledrone Sergeant", and Ai crowed that its ATK was too low, prompting Shepherd to insult him again for relaying such obvious information before Link Summoning "Battledrone General"

Simorgh itself can be cheated out with Tri-Brigade effects, but you should consider sending Rendezvous into the GY somehow too

It comes in hard and forces the opponent into suboptimal plays and trades

The files to print your own cards can be found on their official website (see link below)